Okay Last night, I made a quiet sick and unnecessary Suicide jokes, which I would like to Apoligize to everyone involved about.
Let me start of by saying I made the joke aimed at noone and to make no offense to anyone, I ment it as a friendly joke. But I relise I -did- go to far, and stepped over the line.
See I have this kind of feeling, that within my circle of friends I am usualy the funny one who makes all the jokes and stuff, and as we are friends we never see anything as being to -far-. But sometimes when I make jokes in the classroom people see me as attension seeking. And I guess it is what I am doing, as my Mum works alot and has to tend between me and my older brother who has dispractia and dislexia, and though we see it as not affecting him in anyway, it does emotionaly to him, So alot of my mums attention is directed towards him. So as I dont get this attension at home, I like to keep it within my friends, who now after years think my jokes are stupid and not funny now. I guess the matured faster than me, and when Im told "Stop trying to be funny" I feel bad, because yes I know im trying to be funny but its what I was always used to, having a large number of friends which has now dwidled down to a small group, I fear though if I am not funny and pull of a few jokes which people find funny, My friend will no longer hang with me and I will just be "Camey" not "Rugby Camey" or "Funny Camey" And in this I feel I will be left behind by all my friend who will just forget about me.
Also then when I relised that I took the joke to far and was told to be more serisous I started complaining about faults I find in my life. I actually truely love life and I will love it to the last breath of air I take, though I feel cheated sometimes, I am a good person in life but alot of bad things happen to me which derail me from the good things. Christmas day, my Xbox Broke and I didnt get to play all my new things untill feburay, I had just started Academy(High School) My gran died and never got to see me go through it. My Best friends when I was ten moved away to canada, and my new best friend will be moving away soon. But dont get me wrong I still love life and I will not lie about that.
Then everyone was sick about my problems I was sharing, though after seeing people in the channel being helped with Life Problems, I thought that I might as well share mine too, of course noone really like that, and I had to start joking around again, but not as much at first.
Then people thought I wasnt beeing serious again, and this all really Confused me, what was between Serious and being the clown. I couldnt figure it out, but now I relised being myself. I surely didnt mean to hurt anyone, or piss anyone of. I am a really nice guy honest, I will leave the comedy to the likes of Lee Evans and the serisousness to Jeremy Kyle. So anyway, thanks for reading this and do note Though I can be a Dick, a Douche, a immature kid, insensitive and just a jerk, I dont mean to be, just tell me if im starting an arguement or something and I will stop, because it has alot to do with my self views. Thanks everyone.
And a big apoligie to Andie, Thand and Samo who where most involved and had to listen to me droaning on
Hope you guys forgive me and we can be -Cool- again.
Sun Jan 11 2009, 04:38
